Positive Affirmations

One example of a positive thinking technique used in life coaching or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is to make a list of your strengths, qualities, achievements and abilities. You may then find it helpful to read through the affirmations on a daily basis, perhaps in the morning first thing or else at the end of the day. 

This can help to boost your self esteem and help you to focus on positive thoughts rather than being preoccupied by negative self criticisms or negative thinking patterns.

Dealing with a Negative Self Image

I have also found in work with clients experiencing issues with negative self image or self confidence difficulties that it can be helpful to provide an example or other evidence to support each daily affirmation. This helps the affirmation to feel real rather than just an abstract concept. 

You may also find it helpful to put a favourite photo of yourself at the top of the affirmations so that you can associate the positive thoughts with yourself and your own self image. 

An example of how someone might create a Daily Affirmations list is given below:

Daily Affirmations List - Example

Affirmation of strength, skill, quality, ability or achievement	Illustration or Supporting Evidence where applicable
I am independent and adventurous	I go on walking holidays on my own
I am good at my work	My manager has given me a good appraisal and says that my work is very helpful
I am a good listener	My friends say that they find it easy to talk to me about difficult issues because I don't judge them
I am determined and conscientious	If I get stuck on a problem, I keep looking for different ways round it until I find one
I dress well	People quite often ask me where I have bought items of clothing and comment that they look good on me

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Sources http://www.emailcashpro.com/?r=ipank78

Powerful Steps To Abundance

BE GREAT!

I recently received an email from a busy attorney that said simply, “Lynnea, help! I need abundance! Contact me.” Hmmm. What’s wrong with this picture? He’s busy, but he doesn’t feel like he has abundance in his life. How often do you feel that way? I believe that most of us yearn to feel “filled up” and overflowing with the greatness that life has to offer. If you feel this way, I have a question for you: What would greatness in yourself, your life, and your business, look like?

In order to achieve greatness, and be truly satisfied with yourself and your life, it’s important to cultivate abundance thinking.

You see, we can manifest abundance in our lives. “How?”, you ask. Well, it’s simple, because it’s already within us and around us. But, it’s difficult, because it means doing some work on ourselves. Below are 10 ways to begin creating abundance in your life.

Creating Abundance

Be grateful for what you have; all of it. Can you see? Can you read? Can you hear? Are there people who love you? Do your legs work? Do you have someplace to sleep tonight? There are myriad things for which we can be grateful; and we need to BE grateful before we can be entrusted with more.

Acknowledge abundance; be open to it as it occurs every day in little ways. Did someone give you free tickets to something, or treat you to lunch? That’s abundance. Did you receive an “atta-boy” or a compliment? Did you find a penny on the ground? That’s abundance. Look for it, be attuned to it in your life.

Practice being happy for what others have. There’s no shortage of success, love, money, possessions. Just because someone else has something doesn’t mean there’s less for you.

Be generous. Coming from a “scarcity mentality” only creates scarcity. Give others your praise, help others succeed by sharing your knowledge, your network, your caring, your time, talents, and treasures.

Cultivate a positive environment. Norman Vincent Peale said, “Change your thoughts and you change your world”. Thoughts are fed by everything around us: what we listen to, read, and watch; and by the people we hang out with.. You have the right to create an environment of abundance thinkers, books, tapes, pictures, words, and thoughts. Do it.

Get rid of what you don’t need. Holding onto “stuff” we don’t need feeds our fear of scarcity. Open up space in your physical, mental, and emotional environments for good stuff to flow in.

Help others less fortunate. Personally reach out to those who have less than you do…those who can’t see, read, hear, or walk, who have nowhere to sleep tonight. This helps put things in a bigger perspective, it expands your experience, it expands your world; it expands your gratitude.

Be gentle with yourself and others. Choose to assume the best– that you, and others, are doing the best they can, even when they’re not. Forgive yourself for what you don’t have, for what you haven’t done, and move on to the good stuff waiting for you. Being stuck in regret and guilt wastes your energy and talents. Be grateful for the lesson learned, and get over the rest.

Get your personal needs met. We each have individual, personal needs. These are not options. They are as necessary to us as water or air. They keep us emotionally and spiritually alive. If a need is not being met, a void exists within us, and we’ll look for things to fill the void. We may end up grasping for many things, feeling that we live in a world of scarcity. There are many assessments to help define your unique set of personal needs (if you are interested in using one of these, contact me). Once you know what you need to be and feel your best, you can start creating ways to have these needs met. The voids will disappear.

Daily affirm that you are a worthy and deserving person, who brings unique gifts and value to the world; and that the things you want are flowing to you. Every day, focus on what you want (NOT on what you don’t have!) Visualize it, plan for it, see it in Technicolor®, feel it, talk to it, make it come alive for you. Rev up your passion for it, and in time, you’ll joyfully experience “your cup running over”.

There truly is an abundance of all we want and need. Believe it, manifest it, be fully open to receive it. Because life’s too short to live it half-way!

by Lynnea J. Hagen posted under Manifesting Abundance

Improving Self-Esteem with Affirmations and Therapeutic Relaxation Music

Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and wellness as human beings.

Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual.

Poor or low self-esteem on the other hand can be quite detrimental to our well-being and even our very existence.

Negative self-esteem can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems with relationships, seriously impair academic and job performance and also can generate an increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse and dependency. On the other hand, a person with positive self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking on and creating a life that he loves, living it powerfully and in this process be authentically related to others in his community. Having positive self-esteem appears to be necessary for having a happy and healthy existence regardless of who we are or what profession we are taking on in life.

What is self-esteem? We commonly think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves. However, within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence. We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem. Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our organism experiences the thoughts that the individual has about himself or herself. If a person has positive thoughts about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts about who he thinks he is then he will experience poor or negative self-esteem. Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various emotions associated with it.

Advertisement: Brenda ShoshannaWe also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have had in the past, that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings. More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of who we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or created. Within the work of transformation, it is not the past, circumstance, situation or others, that determines our underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem. We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially at an early age. As meaning making machines we give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.

Given the fact that our thoughts determine our feelings or emotions and equally important that we are truly responsible for their creation, to change or transform our self-esteem, how we tend to feel about ourselves, amounts to us altering how we see or conceive of ourselves in the world in the now and this work is our responsibility alone. It is our self-image, how we define ourselves as an individual in the world in the present, that determines our experience of self-esteem and it is this that we are truly responsible for creating and equally responsible for transforming. When we alter or transform our definition of ourselves in the present we change how we feel about ourselves and with it our experience of reality and life in general. If we do not get it that we are responsible for what we think about ourselves and that we are the real author of our self-image and self-esteem we will continue to blame something or some body, remain powerless and stuck in life. The question of how to actually go about altering or improving an individual's self-esteem is one that has been debated for many years by professionals both in the mental health and addiction arenas.

Self-esteem can be improved or transformed in several ways. One way to improve ones self-esteem is to do the work of transformation as outlined in my articles, Transformational Counseling and The Conversation of Transformation. To improve ones self-esteem in this manner is to become present to ones self limiting belief, that which has stopped us in life and in the process create new possibilities for oneself, a new self-image from which to begin to live life into. Another way to improve an individual's self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Given that the basis of self-esteem is the thoughts that a person has about himself, an individual with poor or negative self-esteem is believing negative thoughts or ideas about who he thinks he is. The individual may think, for example, that he is "worthless" or "not good enough" and as a result will tend to experience poor or negative self-esteem. Within the work of transformation and Transformational Counseling, the thought that is at the basis or core of our self-talk is defined as a person's Self Limiting Belief, the fundamental or core belief about who we think we are. Unless this core thought or belief that a person has about himself is changed or transformed he will continue to experience a poor or negative self-esteem and as a result of this negative thought pattern create or generate life experiences that will match and validate what they think about themselves. Given such a cognitive and emotional situation life will continue to appear as it has in the past and ones future will merely be the probable almost certain future.

Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a person thinks about himself and as a result improve the individual's self-esteem. Consistent use of positive affirmations will transform the negative beliefs about who a person thinks he is into positive ones, will begin to alter the basis and structure of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem. While utilized in a various ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music. What therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations is to create a very relaxed audio environment for the individual to become even more open or suggestive to the language of positive affirmations. When therapeutic relaxation music is combined with binaural audio tones the audio space that is created for the delivery of positive affirmations is even more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition to utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music, the infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial for the success of this type of intervention. When therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in this fashion the individual will experience a very deep state of relaxation and as a result be more open to the reception and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.

The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image and the negative thoughts about who a person thinks he is that generates his experience of poor or negative self-esteem is well established in the his belief system. In many cases the development of a negative self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation. Once a person creates and then believes that a self-limiting belief is true he will continually act as if it is true. This seemingly fundamental belief will appear to the person as true and as a result will continually be acted upon and thereby be reinforced through ones behavior. Much of that person's behavior will be to continually validate who he thinks he is. Ones behavior will always be directed at supporting, reinforcing and validating what the person believes is true about him. While necessary for ones well-being and health, such a transformation of ones self-image from being basically a negative one to one that is fundamentally positive does not happen instantly. As with the development of an individual's negative self-image, the development of a more adequate belief about the true nature of the individual will necessitate consistent and repetitive work by the person. Basic to this process is that the individual must fully embrace his sense of complete responsibility for the development of his self-image and also for its transformation. To do otherwise will only leave the individual feeling powerless and unable to create the life that he or she truly desires and unless there is consistency and repetition such a transformation will simply not happen.

Enhancing My Self Esteem is an audio product that will effectively transform the very structure of an individual's thought or belief pattern, the basic ideas and language structure that he uses to define who he thinks he is in the world. This product was designed specially to change the self-talk that a person experiences on a daily basis by changing the ideas or beliefs that the person has about himself, the very foundation or backdrop of his inner conversation. As our identity is merely language, change the language in a person's mind and his life transforms. By listening to this product an individual has the opportunity to practice or repeat fifty positive affirmations that will empower them to alter their life. Within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, committing an affirmation to spoken word makes it so or real especially if it is done repeatedly. Listening to positive affirmations before sleep also allows the person's mind to begin this restructuring or reprogramming process even while the individual sleeps by taking the words and language into their dream state. By consistently listening to and practicing the positive affirmations in this product the individual will have the opportunity to begin to redefine themselves, who they think they are in the world, from one that is negative to one that is positive and enhancing for their life. With the acceptance of the words and language of the positive affirmations will come an improved self-image and with it an experience of positive self esteem.

I am currently using Enhancing My Self Esteem with all the clients that I counsel at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. All of the clients that I have worked with who are experiencing a drug and/or alcohol dependency problem also have very low self-esteem. My clients tend to be very depressed and unmotivated in many if not most of the various domains of their life, including and especially with their recovery. When given to my clients as homework, consistent use of Enhancing My Self Esteem alters how they think and improves how they feel about themselves. With an improved self-image and enhanced self-esteem my clients become more motivated in their life and especially with their recovery. If a person continues to experience low self-esteem and there is no intervention to disrupt the underlying cognitive process taking on improving their life and working the 12 Step Program will be meaningless and eventually given up completely as so many other things have been in the past. It is my belief that not altering or transforming the fundamental structure of ones self-image accounts for the great percentage of individuals who begin recovery and eventually relapse. The work that is essential to successful recovery is for the individual to be able to redefine who he thinks he is, to alter his self-image, the very foundation of his experience of self-esteem and life. Who the individual believes he is will determine what he does and how he will be in and appear to others and the world.

By Harry Henshaw

How to Use Affirmations Effectively

Self-affirmations are positive statements or self-scripts that can condition the subconscious mind so that you can develop a more positive perception of yourself. Affirmations can help you to change harmful behaviors or accomplish goals, and they can also help undo the damage caused by negative scripts, those things which we repeatedly tell ourselves (or which others repeatedly tell us) that contribute to a negative self-perception. Affirmations are easy to create and use, but you'll need dedication to make them work. Here's some pointers to help you get the most out of these powerful tools.

Steps

1. Think about your positive attributes. Take stock of yourself by making an inventory of your best qualities, abilities, or other attributes. Are you gorgeous? Write it down. Are you a hard worker? Make note of it. Write each quality down in a short sentence, starting with "I" and using the present tense: "I am beautiful," for example, or "I am generous". These statements are affirmations of who you are. We rarely focus on those things that we really like about ourselves, instead choosing to dwell on things we'd like to change. An inventory will help you break that cycle, and using these affirmations to help you appreciate who you are will give you the confidence you need to accept your affirmations of who you want to become.
2. Think about what negative scripts you want to counteract or what positive goals you want to accomplish. Affirmations can be extremely useful to counteract negative perceptions you have developed about your appearance, your abilities, or your potential (we'll refer to these types of affirmations as "counter-scripts"). Affirmations can also help you achieve specific goals, such as losing weight or quitting smoking. Make a list of your goals or the harmful self-perceptions you want to change.
3. Prioritize your list of things to work on. You may find that you have a lot of goals or that you need many counter-scripts. It's best, however, to concentrate on just a few affirmations at a time, so choose those that are most important or most urgent and work with those first. Once you see improvement in those areas or accomplish those goals you can develop new affirmations for other items on your list. You can try using as many affirmations as you want at any given time, but you may want to start by using no more than five.
4. Write your affirmations. In step 1, you got plenty of practice writing affirmations based on your positive qualities in the present. You can use these alone as counter-scripts, or you can add other affirmations to influence your behavior in the future. The affirmations you will use to influence future changes should follow the same basic form as those from step 1. They should start with "I," and be short, clear, and positive. There are two kinds of future-oriented affirmations you can use to work toward goals. "I can" statements: Write a statement affirming the fact that you can achieve your goal(s). For example, if you want to quit smoking, a statement such as "I can quit smoking," is a good start. Many experts recommend that you avoid any sort of negative connotation, so that you would instead say something like "I can free myself from smoking," or "I can become smoke-free."
   "I will" statements: Write a statement affirming that today you will actually use your ability to achieve your goal. So, following the above example, you could say, "I will be smoke-free today," or "I will smoke fewer cigarettes today than yesterday." Again, the affirmation should use positive language and should simply express what you will do today to achieve the longer-term goal.
5. Match up some of your positive attributes with your goals. Which of the positive qualities that you affirmed in step 1 will help you achieve the goals you have set? If you're quitting smoking, for example, you may need willpower or courage, or you may need to reflect on the fact that you are beautiful or that you care about your family. Select two or three of these affirmations to support your goal-oriented affirmations.
6. Make your repetitions visible so you can use them. Repetition is the key to making affirmations effective. You want to think about your affirmations several times a day, every day. There are several ways to do this.
   Make a point of writing your affirmations in a journal or diary each morning when you wake up and each night before you go to sleep. Repeat the affirmations to yourself at these times, as well. Ideally your affirmations should be the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last before you go to sleep.
   Meditate on your affirmations. Close your eyes, shut out the rest of the world, and think about your affirmations. Say and repeat the words, but think about what the words mean to you; think about the future and try to feel the emotions that the affirmations evoke.
   Leave reminder cards in various places. Use 3X5 index cards or sticky notes to write your affirmations (one per card). Make several cards for each affirmation, and then leave these cards where you will see them: place one where you sit at the kitchen table, tape one to your car's steering wheel, slip one inside your desk drawer, or stick one to your computer monitor, etc. Each time you see the card, read it and think about what it means.
   Carry your affirmations with you. Make a list of your affirmations and put it in your wallet or purse. If you need a pick-me-up, or if you find yourself about to waver from your goals, get out your affirmations and read them.
7. Continue usingyour affirmations. The more you affirm something, the more firmly your mind will accept it. If you are trying to accomplish a short-term goal, use your affirmations until you have accomplished it. If you simply want to use affirmations as a counter-script, use each one as long as you like.

Tips

1. Don't be discouraged if your affirmations don't seem to help at first. Instead, think about how you are using them. Do you really believe them? If you don't believe the affirmations, they can still be effective, but it will take longer. If you're tired of waiting, make sure your goals are attainable and set reasonable expectations for when you want to attain them. Use affirmations to counteract negative scripts or to accomplish small goals, and you will eventually develop the confidence to tackle bigger issues.
2. Affirmations can be used in combination with visualizations to increase the effectiveness of both. By visualizing your affirmations, you can make them more real in your mind. Include mental visualization using as many of your five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) as appropriate.
3. If you don't want people to know about your affirmations, just place your reminders in discreet locations. Remember, however, that it's important that you see them frequently, or they'll do you no good.
4. If you find yourself simply parroting the words of your affirmations, instead of concentrating on their meaning, change affirmations. You can still affirm the same goals or characteristics, of course, but rephrasing your affirmations can rejuvenate their effectiveness.
5. If you find it difficult to believe an affirmation will materialize, add "I choose to" to the affirmation. "I choose to be at my healthy weight," for example, or, "I choose to maintain a healthy weight easily and effortlessly."
6. Make a recording in your own voice and play it as you fall asleep. Some people swear by this method.
7. Attach positive emotions to your affirmations. Think about how achieving your goal will make you feel, or think about how good it feels to know that you are good at something. Emotion is a fuel which makes affirmations more powerful.
8. Ask friends to say a version of your affirmations to you. For example, "Maryanne, you are eating such healthy meals. You must feel great." Self-affirmations are valuable precisely because they free you from a reliance on the approval of others, but affirmations from others can be just as beneficial as negative scripts from others are harmful.
9. Gratitude is a type of affirmation: One that says the following: "I enjoy and value the good in my life and trust that more will come my way".

Warnings

Affirmations are not a quick fix to all your problems. Do not expect a miracle, especially not overnight. It may have taken years for you to fully accept negative scripts in your self-image; it will take time to change how you feel about yourself, as well.

Affirmations for Kids - Weaving Positive Affirmations into Storytelling

Two of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children are the love of reading and a positive self image. When you can weave positive affirmations for kids into storytelling you are developing a bond with them and giving them a gift that will last a lifetime.

Children are naturally curious and open to new ideas. This is a wonderful time to incorporate a positive self image into the time you spend together reading. Even babies in the womb will benefit from being read to; the hum and sound of the mother's voice reading is comforting to the baby and strengthens the bond between parent and child from the beginning. As your child grows older, story time can be a regular part of your schedule. Toddlers who find it hard to settle down before bedtime will relax with less resistance if they know that cuddling up with their parent and a book is going to be part of the pre-bedtime ritual. Learning to love reading at an early age will help increase their vocabulary and help them achieve more in school.

At the same time, you are helping with their self esteem. Reading to kids helps them feel loved and secure, and incorporating those affirmations into the reading only strengthens the impact. Examples of affirmations that you can incorporate into reading are:

"I am connected to all living things." This is a great affirmation to use when you are reading stories about the earth and animals.

"I am responsible for my own behavior." This is a good one to use while reading books on how to get along in the world, or books designed to teach.

What bedtime stories for kids do you have on the shelf that can teach these affirmations?

• "I can learn at my own pace."
• "I am lovable and capable.''
• "I can be excited about everything."

These amazing affirmations are simple but powerful tools to help increase self esteem and a sense of belonging. At the same time, books on relaxing and learning to control emotions are also great self esteem builders.

A Boy and a Bear: The Children's Relaxation Book

One such book is " A Boy and a Bear: The Children's Relaxation Book", by Lori Lite and M. Hartigan which is nicely illustrated and easy to read, meaning it's short enough to teach relaxation techniques to your child but long enough to be included in the bedtime story ritual. (Kids won't take to books that are too short and might cut the time they spend with their parent.) This is a good time to incorporate meditation for kids into the ritual; they can learn to relax and meditation also helps with a feeling of being in control of their emotions and their surroundings, a problem kids have as they near school age and things begin to change.

Individualized Positive Affirmations for Improving Self-Esteem

You know the importance of self-esteem and how it makes you feel. If all it takes to make you feel bad is a joke about your funny looking nose, or a young child staring at you for 5 minutes, please take note! While good self-esteem is somewhat understood, many people don't know how to improve self-esteem. Learn how to use positive affirmations in building self-esteem, instead of putting on a mean looking face for scaring the kid away.

Individualized Positive Affirmations for Improving Self-Esteem

Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our happiness and well being as a human being. Having positive self-esteem can make the difference in that which we take on in life, in that which we go about achieving and creating. Having positive self-esteem also allows us to have healthy and joyous relationships with others, to experience true intimacy. One could also assert that having positive self-esteem gives us access to genuine spirituality. Poor self-esteem, on the other hand, creates the space for us to experience a great deal of negativity in life including depression, anxiety, fear, stress and loneliness. Negative or poor self-esteem is also highly correlated with alcohol and drug dependency. Some even believe that a negative or poor self-image is the source of such addictions.

While it appears that the importance of positive self-esteem is somewhat understood, the unanswered question has always been about how to improve or enhance a person's self-esteem. Some belief that a person's self-esteem rests upon them being successful, in accomplishing that which they take on in life, of achieving goals that they have set for themselves. As a result much effort is put into assisting others in effectively and efficiently planning their doing in life. Others believe that our sense of self-esteem is determined by the type of relationships that we have, that by surrounding ourselves with positive people who will appreciate and acknowledge us that our esteem will be positively impacted. To this end training is given to help a person improve his interpersonal skills, how he communicates and relates with others. While both of these endeavors are important, it is not the having or doing that creates positive self-esteem. Ones self-esteem is not given or to be obtained from without, external to the person.

One's self-esteem is not given or obtained from external things.

One very effective way to improve self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are very powerful for transforming how a person feels and thinks about himself, ultimately influencing how he views and acts within the world and towards others. The fundamental reason why positive affirmations are so effective is that their nature or structure reflects what already exists in our mind. Our identity or who we think we are, our current thinking patterns, are also a series of affirmations, composed fundamentally of mere words or language. Everything we think, all of the thoughts that we have, are merely affirmations. Positive affirmations, when used consistently, begin to alter our prevalent internal language pattern, as negative as it may be, our inner self talk or dialogue that exists within us. The end result of the consistent use of positive affirmations is the transformation of an inner negative language pattern into one that is positive in nature.

The most effective way to use positive affirmations is with the individual's own voice. While a person can have a beneficial result from listening to a commercially developed product that employs positive affirmations recorded by another, the transformative power of this technology is enhanced or strengthened by the positive messages being delivered in the person's own voice. By using a person's own voice to transform the inner dialogue, there is less resistance to the transformational process due to the fact that the voice itself is the same or identical. It is as though the negative voice or language pattern that one hears repeatedly in life is altered or transformed by the consistent exposure and listening to that same voice but with the structure of positive enhancing affirmations. Eventually the structure will transform from one that is negative to one that is positive in nature.

The most effective way to use positive affirmations is with the individual's own voice.

The process of using ones own voice in doing work with positive affirmations can be strengthened with the use of therapeutic relaxation music. While the use of ones own voice is very powerful for creating change in a person's life, the use of specially designed therapeutic relaxation music assists in creating the audio space for this process to be very powerful. We tend to be more open or suggestible to positive affirmations or language when we are in a state of relaxation. When combined with binaural audio tones the relaxing affect of the therapeutic relaxation music is greatly enhanced. When used with the combined effect of the therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones and consistently, the positive enhancing affirmations that are delivered will have such a profound affect upon improving and transforming a person's internal, self-talk and eventually his self-esteem.

The technology of utilizing positive affirmations that are recorded in a person's own voice and therapeutic relaxation music is currently being employed in the treatment of those suffering from substance dependency problems. At the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida, clients are given access to this powerful technology. Clients have the ability to create personal affirmations that empower them and support their recovery and also are able to record these affirmations. The recorded positive affirmations are then mixed with specially designed therapeutic relaxation music to create a powerful audio product to assist the individual in his recovery. Once created the client is trained in the most effective manner in which to utilize their personal CD as part of their overall recovery plan. Those clients who utilize this powerful technology tend to improve their self- esteem, stay in recovery and improve the quality of their life in general. When a person feels and thinks more positively about himself he tends to be more positive towards everything that he is taking on in his life, including and most importantly his recovery.

Practice Self Talk and Positive Affirmation Statements in Your Life

Positive self-talk means purposely giving yourself positive reinforcement, motivation, and recognition- just as you would do for a friend। Congratulate yourself when you do well, and remind yourself of your abilities, accomplishments, strengths and skills. Keep a to-do list, check off accomplishments, and review your progress periodically.

Make self-talk work for you। When you habitually say to yourself has a very profound impact on your self-image, your self-esteem, and your performance as well as eventual success। Remember that your subconscious triggers physiological responses to match the pictures and thoughts that you have of yourself to make them happens। Make this work for you by keeping your self-talk positive. For example say to yourself either “ I did a good job on that changing a friend’s oil even though I took a quart and ½ for myself “ or “ I did a good job of not paying a good friend the cost of supplies for the efforts he did for me “.Stop negative self-talk. You may well be quick to nag yourself because your mother wanted you to more than perfect. However, negative self talk can be damaging because your subconscious believes what you say to your when you repeat that negative talk in your mind over and over. How is your subconscious to know otherwise? If you catch yourself using negative self-talk, stop and rephrase. Eliminate the negative words. Focus instead on the best course you can take and do it.

Make positive communications a habit. Focus on the positive in goal statements, self-talk, and all communications. Compare the following phrases, and notice how the positive words convey confidence, commitment, and enthusiasm.
For example instead of “I will try" substitute the phrase “ I will “। Instead of saying to you “I should do “insert the phrase “I will do “. Try saying “ I want to “ or “ I choose to" instead of the more common “I must “.

Focus with affirmation statements। Affirmative statements are positive self-statements or reminders to help you achieve goals. They are positive messages with a punch “mental bumper stickers" of sorts to motivate your subconscious mind to work for you.

Here are guidelines to help you to use the powerful tool of affirmative statements as vital mental reminder technique.

1. Make the statements personal to yourself. Not arbitrary or generic. Use the phrase “I" , your own name , or you 
2. Keep affirmations short. How can you use the affirmations if you cannot remember them?
3. Phrase your affirmations positively. The mind accepts as truth the words that you give it. Use positive words only as affirmations. Leave out any negative words. For example say “I will not be nervous during my interview with the warden “. Rather say “ I will be calm and self-assured during my interview"
4. Include a positive emotion. A phrase that triggers a positive emotion strengthens the affirmation. For example “My goals are valuable and it excites me."
5. Phrase affirmations as fact. Phrase a goal as though it is happening even if you have not achieved it yet. Your subconscious believes mental messages and works to make them a reality. 
6. Say your affirmation at least 6 times a day। Repetition is life. Repetition enhances self-confidence, acts as a reminder, and stimulates your subconscious to help you achieve your goals in life.

It cannot be overstated the impact that positive self talk and affirmative statements can help you towards the vital goals that you have identified in your life। Remember that without goals even if you work hard you are like a ship without a rudder.

These powerful tools of positive self talk and positive affirmations can more than help speed you along to your chosen goals

How to Use Affirmations Effectively

Self-affirmations are positive statements or self-scripts that can condition the subconscious mind so that you can develop a more positive perception of yourself. Affirmations can help you to change harmful behaviors or accomplish goals, and they can also help undo the damage caused by negative scripts, those things which we repeatedly tell ourselves (or which others repeatedly tell us) that contribute to a negative self-perception. Affirmations are easy to create and use, but you'll need dedication to make them work. Here's some pointers to help you get the most out of these powerful tools.
Steps

Think about your positive attributes। Take stock of yourself by making an inventory of your best qualities, abilities, or other attributes. Are you gorgeous? Write it down. Are you a hard worker? Make note of it. Write each quality down in a short sentence, starting with "I" and using the present tense: "I am beautiful," for example, or "I am generous". These statements are affirmations of who you are. We rarely focus on those things that we really like about ourselves, instead choosing to dwell on things we'd like to change. An inventory will help you break that cycle, and using these affirmations to help you appreciate who you are will give you the confidence you need to accept your affirmations of who you want to become.

Think about what negative scripts you want to counteract or what positive goals you want to accomplish। Affirmations can be extremely useful to counteract negative perceptions you have developed about your appearance, your abilities, or your potential (we'll refer to these types of affirmations as "counter-scripts")। Affirmations can also help you achieve specific goals, such as losing weight or quitting smoking. Make a list of your goals or the harmful self-perceptions you want to change.

Prioritize your list of things to work on। You may find that you have a lot of goals or that you need many counter-scripts. It's best, however, to concentrate on just a few affirmations at a time, so choose those that are most important or most urgent and work with those first. Once you see improvement in those areas or accomplish those goals you can develop new affirmations for other items on your list. You can try using as many affirmations as you want at any given time, but you may want to start by using no more than five.

Write your affirmations। In step 1, you got plenty of practice writing affirmations based on your positive qualities in the present. You can use these alone as counter-scripts, or you can add other affirmations to influence your behavior in the future. The affirmations you will use to influence future changes should follow the same basic form as those from step 1. They should start with "I," and be short, clear, and positive. There are two kinds of future-oriented affirmations you can use to work toward goals.

"I can" statements: Write a statement affirming the fact that you can achieve your goal(s). For example, if you want to quit smoking, a statement such as "I can quit smoking," is a good start. Many experts recommend that you avoid any sort of negative connotation, so that you would instead say something like "I can free myself from smoking," or "I can become smoke-free."

"I will" statements: Write a statement affirming that today you will actually use your ability to achieve your goal। So, following the above example, you could say, "I will be smoke-free today," or "I will smoke fewer cigarettes today than yesterday." Again, the affirmation should use positive language and should simply express what you will do today to achieve the longer-term goal.

Match up some of your positive attributes with your goals। Which of the positive qualities that you affirmed in step 1 will help you achieve the goals you have set? If you're quitting smoking, for example, you may need willpower or courage, or you may need to reflect on the fact that you are beautiful or that you care about your family. Select two or three of these affirmations to support your goal-oriented affirmations.

Make your repetitions visible so you can use them. Repetition is the key to making affirmations effective. You want to think about your affirmations several times a day, every day. There are several ways to do this.
Make a point of writing your affirmations in a journal or diary each morning when you wake up and each night before you go to sleep। Repeat the affirmations to yourself at these times, as well. Ideally your affirmations should be the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last before you go to sleep.

Meditate on your affirmations. Close your eyes, shut out the rest of the world, and think about your affirmations. Say and repeat the words, but think about what the words mean to you; think about the future and try to feel the emotions that the affirmations evoke.
Leave reminder cards in various places। Use 3X5 index cards or sticky notes to write your affirmations (one per card). Make several cards for each affirmation, and then leave these cards where you will see them: place one where you sit at the kitchen table, tape one to your car's steering wheel, slip one inside your desk drawer, or stick one to your computer monitor, etc. Each time you see the card, read it and think about what it means.

Carry your affirmations with you. Make a list of your affirmations and put it in your wallet or purse. If you need a pick-me-up, or if you find yourself about to waver from your goals, get out your affirmations and read them.
Continue using your affirmations। The more you affirm something, the more firmly your mind will accept it. If you are trying to accomplish a short-term goal, use your affirmations until you have accomplished it. If you simply want to use affirmations as a counter-script, use each one as long as you like.

Tips
Don't be discouraged if your affirmations don't seem to help at first। Instead, think about how you are using them. Do you really believe them? If you don't believe the affirmations, they can still be effective, but it will take longer. If you're tired of waiting, make sure your goals are attainable and set reasonable expectations for when you want to attain them. Use affirmations to counteract negative scripts or to accomplish small goals, and you will eventually develop the confidence to tackle bigger issues.

Affirmations can be used in combination with visualizations to increase the effectiveness of both. By visualizing your affirmations, you can make them more real in your mind. Include mental visualization using as many of your five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) as appropriate.
If you don't want people to know about your affirmations, just place your reminders in discreet locations। Remember, however, that it's important that you see them frequently, or they'll do you no good.

If you find yourself simply parroting the words of your affirmations, instead of concentrating on their meaning, change affirmations। You can still affirm the same goals or characteristics, of course, but rephrasing your affirmations can rejuvenate their effectiveness.

If you find it difficult to believe an affirmation will materialize, add "I choose to" to the affirmation। "I choose to be at my healthy weight," for example, or, "I choose to maintain a healthy weight easily and effortlessly."

Make a recording in your own voice and play it as you fall asleep। Some people swear by this method.

Attach positive emotions to your affirmations। Think about how achieving your goal will make you feel, or think about how good it feels to know that you are good at something. Emotion is a fuel which makes affirmations more powerful.

Ask friends to say a version of your affirmations to you। For example, "Maryanne, you are eating such healthy meals. You must feel great." Self-affirmations are valuable precisely because they free you from a reliance on the approval of others, but affirmations from others can be just as beneficial as negative scripts from others are harmful.

Gratitude is a type of affirmation: One that says the following: "I enjoy and value the good in my life and trust that more will come my way".
Warnings

Affirmations are not a quick fix to all your problems. Do not expect a miracle, especially not overnight. It may have taken years for you to fully accept negative scripts in your self-image; it will take time to change how you feel about yourself, as well.